I don't mean to come here and complain. But I'm unsure of what to do and because of people I go to school with following me on every other damn social networking site, I can't express how I feel there unrestricted.

So my boyfriend had been acting distant and awkward around me last week after halloween. Since we've dated twice before this time, and it had gone rotten in november both previous times, I got scared. He ignored me or answered me with one woreded answers. I knew something was really wrong. Not to mention he had blown me off for his friends on Halloween and carving pumpkins and all that stuff. On tuesday night I confronted him over AIM, which I now regret because he didn't explain anything to me at all. He only told me he wanted a break.

I was mildly bothered by that, so I sought comfort with talking to a couple other friends, one of which let me on to something I was told before but didn't believe. I guess Dylan had lied to me about having sex with one of his ex-girlfriends (while they were dating, of course) not only once, but twice he had lied about it to me. Once when I asked him about all that stuff when we first had gotten back together, and again when I had heard he had from another mutual friend of ours. My friend who had just let me on even showed me a text where the girl had admitted it. Straight from the horse's mouth.

I pretty much broke down that night and the next day. It was really hard not to cry in class. I don't know what to really believe anymore, if he lied to me about something as big as that, what else could he have deceived me about? Especially when he has such a fond interest in certain bad things. He's been nonstop flirting with these girls on Tumblr since Monday, and he's well aware how much that bothers me.

I also found out last night that he had told all of his friends that we just broke up. So I'm not sure if there's even a chance we would get back together. And it sucks because I still love him more than anything. I know any normal person would probably just forget about him after being lied to as much as I have and playing security blanket as long as I have. I feel really under appreciated and this whole situation is unfair. He still enjoys himself and is having fun with his friends without a care in the world' meanwhile I'm here in front of my computer wallowing in my own shit, waiting for him to have an interest in me again. I don't feel like doing anything anymore but crying, and I am well aware of how pathetic it is.

This is my rant. I'm done.